Mindful holiday tips for separated parents

I’ve just returned home after a few incredible (and emotional) weeks in Germany and England, and my heart feels full in a way that’s hard to put into words.

In England, I had the absolute privilege of attending Sara Davison’s Divorce Coaching Conference, surrounded by some of the most compassionate and wise professionals I’ve ever met. We shared stories, insights, and new strategies to support people navigating one of life’s most difficult transitions — and I left with so many ideas I can’t wait to bring into my work with you.

There’s this idea floating around that empowerment after divorce should look big and loud — a fresh haircut, a solo holiday, a full reinvention.

But here’s what I’ve learned, after years of walking beside clients through this season of rebuilding:
true power isn’t loud at all.

It’s quiet.
It’s calm.
It’s the confidence that doesn’t need to announce itself — because it’s rooted deep inside you.

There’s something that happens after divorce that nobody really prepares you for.

When the paperwork is signed, when the boxes are unpacked, when the noise finally fades — there’s this quiet moment where you look around and realise…
everything is yours now.

Your money, your bills, your future — all in your hands.
And for a second, that truth feels heavy.

You want to feel safe again.
You want to know that you’re going to be okay.
But security — the kind that feels steady and peaceful — can feel so far away when everything in your life has changed.

If that’s where you are right now, take a breath, lovely.
You’re not broken, and you’re definitely not behind.
You’re just rebuilding.

You’ve probably heard the saying: “Money follows mindset.”
And while it might sound like something you’d read on a motivational poster, there’s a deeper truth behind it — especially after separation.

Because the way you think about money directly affects the way you use it, save it, and trust yourself with it.

After a separation, your finances can feel fragile — like every decision carries more weight than before. Suddenly, you’re not just managing money; you’re managing fear, uncertainty, and a future that looks different than you imagined.

But here’s the good news: financial freedom doesn’t begin with spreadsheets or bank balances.
It begins in your mind.

You know that moment after separation when the dust begins to settle — but instead of relief, you feel this quiet, heavy uncertainty?
You’re standing in your kitchen, coffee in hand, staring out the window wondering, “Where do I even start?”

I get it.
After years of shared bills, shared decisions, and shared dreams, unravelling the financial side of things can feel like trying to untangle a necklace that’s been in the drawer for too long. Every time you think you’ve made progress, another knot appears.

It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others.
We look at what someone else has — their career, their family life, their income — and we measure our own progress against theirs.

But here’s the hard truth: comparison is one of the fastest ways to rob yourself of joy. It keeps your focus on what you don’t have, instead of what you’re building.

If you’ve been through a separation or divorce, those comparisons can feel even louder. They seem so happy in their new relationship. He’s already bought a house. She never looks stressed.

Sound familiar?

I want to remind you of something important: your journey is yours. And the moment you stop comparing it to someone else’s, you give yourself the freedom to walk your path with clarity and strength.

Let’s be honest — co-parenting isn’t always smooth sailing.

Even with the best intentions, there will be days when it feels hard. When communication breaks down, when emotions run high, when the plans you agreed on suddenly don’t go the way you expected.

If you’re in that season right now, I want you to know this: you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means you’re human, navigating something that is one of the most challenging dynamics there is.

What I’ve learned — both personally and through walking alongside so many clients — is that when co-parenting gets hard, the most powerful thing you can do is shift your focus.

If you’ve been through a separation or divorce, you’ll know how easy it is to replay the past on repeat.
The “what ifs.” The “if onlys.” The conversations you wish had gone differently.

I know this place well. And if you’re there right now, I want you to know — it’s completely human. When we go through painful experiences, our minds cling to the story, because it feels safer to hold onto what we already know rather than face the uncertainty of what comes next.

But here’s the thing: living in the past will keep you stuck in the past.

At some point, you have to decide to press pause on the replays and press play on your future.

When life feels like it’s spinning out of control, it’s easy to get caught up in everything that isn’t going the way you hoped. Divorce, separation, or even a big life transition can make you feel powerless — like no matter what you do, the ground keeps shifting beneath your feet.

I want to share something that has helped me, time and time again, in my own journey: learning to focus on what you can control.

There’s something about spring that calls us to clear things out. Closets get tidied, windows are opened wide, and we find ourselves dusting off forgotten corners. It’s a ritual of making space — letting go of the old so something fresh can come in. 🌿

But what about the parts of us that need clearing?

After separation or divorce, the weight we carry isn’t just in our homes. It’s in our hearts. The “what ifs,” the unanswered questions, the sadness, the anger. These unprocessed emotions take up space inside us — and just like a cluttered room, they can keep us from moving forward.

That’s where journaling becomes such a powerful tool. ✨

It’s a kind of spring cleaning for the soul. By putting words on paper, you make sense of tangled feelings, create clarity, and gently open up room for renewal.