How to stop comparing your journey to…
others and focus on your own path
It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others.
We look at what someone else has — their career, their family life, their income — and we measure our own progress against theirs.
But here’s the hard truth: comparison is one of the fastest ways to rob yourself of joy. It keeps your focus on what you don’t have, instead of what you’re building.
If you’ve been through a separation or divorce, those comparisons can feel even louder. They seem so happy in their new relationship. He’s already bought a house. She never looks stressed.
Sound familiar?
I want to remind you of something important: your journey is yours. And the moment you stop comparing it to someone else’s, you give yourself the freedom to walk your path with clarity and strength.
My own story of comparison
When I moved from Germany to Australia, I found myself starting over in ways I never expected. I already had a law degree, and many of my friends and colleagues back home were well into their careers, earning good incomes, buying homes, and moving forward with their lives.
Meanwhile, I had to go back to square one. I needed to restudy law, requalify, and juggle everything that came with beginning again, including two young children.
It would have been so easy to fall into comparison. To look at where they were and feel like I was falling behind. To think, Why am I struggling while they’re thriving?
But I made a choice. Instead of measuring myself against someone else’s progress, I focused on my own path. I reminded myself that I was building something meaningful, even if it looked different. And step by step, I created a career — and a life — that truly aligned with me.
Why comparison holds you back
When you compare your life to someone else’s, you’re only seeing the highlight reel — never the whole story. And yet, we still measure our worth against those snapshots.
The problem is, comparison keeps your focus outward, not inward. It distracts you from your own progress, your own strengths, and the future you’re capable of creating.
The truth is, your journey isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s. It’s meant to look like yours.
Shifting your focus back to your own path
Here are a few ways to step away from comparison and back into your own life:
Catch the thought and reframe it
When you notice yourself comparing, pause and ask: Is this thought helping me, or hurting me? Then reframe it: “Their journey is theirs. Mine is unfolding in its own way.”Celebrate your small wins
Write down three things you’ve done each week that moved you forward. It doesn’t matter how small — progress is progress.Limit the scroll on social media
If scrolling social media leaves you feeling “less than,” take a break or set boundaries. Protecting your focus is an act of self-care.
Looking ahead
Choosing not to compare yourself isn’t about pretending other people’s success doesn’t exist. It’s about honouring your own. It’s about shifting your focus back to the path under your feet — one that’s uniquely yours to walk.
In my upcoming book Emotional Alchemy, co-authored with Sara Davison and launching in January 2026, I share more of my personal story of starting over and choosing to focus forward, even when comparison could have easily pulled me off track.
A gentle reminder
If you catch yourself comparing, take a breath and bring your attention back to your own steps. You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re simply on a different path — and that path has the power to lead you exactly where you’re meant to go.
✨ This week, try celebrating one small win that’s yours alone. No comparisons, no measuring sticks. Just you, moving forward on your path.