The holidays can still feel peaceful…
Here’s how
Mindful holiday tips for separated parents
I’ve just returned home after a few incredible (and emotional) weeks in Germany and England, and my heart feels full in a way that’s hard to put into words.
In England, I had the absolute privilege of attending Sara Davison’s Divorce Coaching Conference, surrounded by some of the most compassionate and wise professionals I’ve ever met. We shared stories, insights, and new strategies to support people navigating one of life’s most difficult transitions — and I left with so many ideas I can’t wait to bring into my work with you.
Then came Germany.
Stepping back into the place where I grew up was… emotional.
The smell of wood fires in the air, the sound of church bells on crisp mornings, the markets lighting up old cobblestone streets — it was beautiful. But it also stirred up a wave of memories. Some tender and sweet.
Others that brought back old pain I didn’t expect to feel again.
And somewhere between the nostalgia and the newness, I realised something I want to share with you:
Peace doesn’t come from having everything go perfectly.
Peace comes from allowing things to be as they are — and finding calm in the middle of it.
That’s something we all need to hear, especially during the holidays.
The holidays after separation can be… complicated
If you’re a separated parent, you know what I mean.
You’re doing your best to create magic for your kids — to make the season feel special, even though everything looks different now.
You’re managing schedules, navigating emotions, maybe even feeling the ache of not being with your children every day.
It’s a lot.
So if the joy of the holidays feels mixed with grief, nostalgia, or exhaustion — please know this: you’re not failing.
You’re human.
And there are still ways to find peace, presence, and even joy this season — just in a softer, more mindful way.
1. Release the idea of “perfect”
Let’s be honest: “perfect Christmas” is a myth.
Your kids won’t remember how colour-coordinated the gifts were or how spotless the kitchen looked. They’ll remember the laughter, the warmth, the way you made them feel loved.
In Germany, I was reminded how simplicity can be sacred — candlelight, conversation with old friends and family, the smell of something baking.
Those small, ordinary moments are what stay with us.
Let enough be enough this year. 💛
2. Make peace your priority
When I was in England at Sara’s conference, one thing that struck me deeply was how many of us — clients, coaches, professionals — are really searching for the same thing: peace of mind.
Peace doesn’t mean everything’s easy.
It means you’ve learned how to stay calm and grounded, even when things are uncertain.
This holiday season, choose peace first.
Say no to chaos, to overcommitment, to guilt.
Say yes to presence, to quiet, to rest.
Even five minutes of deep breathing with a cup of tea while the world rushes around you is an act of healing. 🌸
3. Honour your emotions
Going back to Germany brought up a lot for me — memories of childhood holidays, old family patterns, and that familiar tug between joy and sadness.
If you feel that too, please don’t push it down.
Let the emotions come and go.
You can feel grateful and heartbroken in the same breath.
That’s what emotional maturity — and true mindfulness — looks like.
4. Protect your energy and create small rituals
One thing I learned in both my travels and in my work with clients: peace is something we practice.
So this season, build little rituals that bring you back to yourself:
✨ A morning walk before the day begins
✨ Writing down three things you’re grateful for
✨ A simple holiday playlist that soothes your nervous system
These are tiny acts of self-care that anchor you through the noise.
5. Remember: you are teaching your children resilience
Your children are learning from you — not from what you say, but from how you show up.
When they see you handle change with grace and still find ways to enjoy the season, they learn that life can change and still be beautiful.
You’re showing them what peace looks like in practice — and that’s one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever give them. 🎄
Coming home — and finding your calm
As I unpacked my suitcase back home, I realised that both Germany and England had given me a gift this holiday season — perspective.
Germany reminded me of where I came from.
England reminded me of how much I’ve grown.
And now, as I stand between both — the past and the present — I’m filled with excitement for what’s coming next.
In January, I’ll be releasing my new book, co-authored with Sara Davison and 19 other divorce coaches — Emotional Alchemy!
It’s about transforming the pain of separation into peace, confidence, and healing — turning emotional chaos into calm strength.
It’s everything I’ve learned from years of helping others (and walking this road myself) distilled into a guide that feels like a hand on your shoulder.
Because peace — during the holidays, after divorce, or in the middle of rebuilding your life — isn’t something you find.
It’s something you create.
Moment by moment. Choice by choice.
And this holiday season, lovely, I hope you choose peace.
Wishing you stillness, comfort, and soft joy this season 💛
Take time to rest.
Light a candle.
Let the little things be enough.
You deserve a calm Christmas — not a “perfect” one.
With warmth, love, and gratitude,
Kerstin x
Founder | Re-Charge Divorce Coaching & Retreats