The Power of letting go…
How releasing control creates space for healing
When I moved from Germany to Australia, I packed everything I thought I would need.
My paperwork. My essentials. My “just in case” items (far too many).
And a version of myself who was used to having everything in order.
I liked plans. I liked knowing what came next. I liked control.
But very quickly, I learnt something that changed me—
You can have the best-laid plans in the world, and still find yourself standing on a beach, crying into a chai latte, wondering why nothing feels the way it is “supposed” to.
Letting go was not on my checklist. But it became my biggest teacher.
And if you are going through a separation, a move, or a major life transition—
You might already feel it too: that tug-of-war between holding it all together and wanting to just exhale.
This blog is for that version of you. The one standing in the messy middle.
Let us talk about why letting go—of control, of perfection, of timelines—might be the very thing that sets you free.
1. Letting go does not mean giving up—it means trusting the shift
We are wired to hold on.
To routines. Relationships. Old identities.
Even to stories that no longer serve us, simply because they feel familiar.
When I moved countries, I kept trying to recreate my life in Germany—same rhythms, same routines, same expectations. But I was not in Germany anymore. I was in a new place. With new energy. New people. New possibilities.
It was only when I let go of recreating and started reimagining that things shifted.
✨ Letting go is not about giving up.
✨ It is about letting something new find you.
2. Control is a comfort—but not always a cure
After a breakup or big change, it is normal to want to cling to what you can control.
You colour-code the calendar.
You overthink every text.
You micro-manage the transition for your kids, your finances, your future.
Because control feels safe, right?
But sometimes, it becomes a cage.
Here is the truth:
You can control everything and still feel anxious.
You can let go a little and feel peace return.
Try this:
Ask: “Is this something I actually need to control—or just something I’m scared to feel?”
Let one thing be imperfect today.
See what happens when you let it be easy.
3. Your identity is allowed to change
When I moved to Australia, I realised I had attached so much of my identity to being “the organised one” or “the reliable one” back home.
I had built entire parts of my personality around being dependable, prepared, and on top of things.
But I did not know how to be that version of me here.
And eventually… I stopped trying to.
Because here is the gift:
Letting go of old roles makes space for truer ones.
You do not have to be the strong one all the time.
You do not have to have all the answers.
You do not have to be who you were before the relationship ended.
You get to become someone softer, wiser, freer.
And it starts with loosening your grip.
4. Grief and growth are two sides of the same release
Letting go often looks like crying when no one is watching.
Or finally admitting, “This version of my life is not working anymore.”
Or giving yourself permission to want more peace—even if it means walking away from what you know.
It is not pretty. It is not polished.
But it is powerful.
Because in that space—right after you surrender—something else rushes in:
Clarity
Intuition
Possibility
Peace
And most importantly?
Room for healing.
5. What are you still holding onto?
Let this blog be your gentle invitation to check in with yourself.
What are you white-knuckling right now?
An outcome?
Someone’s approval?
A timeline you thought you should be on by now?
An old version of yourself who no longer fits?
What would happen if you loosened your grip—even just a little?
6. Rituals that help with release
Letting go is not a one-time decision. It is a practice.
Here are a few ways to make it part of your healing:
🕯️ Write and burn: Write down what you are ready to release. Burn it (safely!) or bury it.
🌊 Water as a metaphor: Swim in the ocean. Stand under the shower. Let the water carry it away.
📿 Breathe it out: Inhale clarity. Exhale control. Do this for 2 minutes a day.
📓 Future self journaling: Ask her what she has let go of—and what she gained in return.
7. The truth I learned on that beach in Australia
That day with the chai latte, I sat down and said (out loud),
“I do not know what I am doing, and I am tired of pretending I do.”
I let go.
Of the plan.
Of the pressure.
Of the need to feel like I was getting it “right.”
And you know what came next?
A moment of relief.
Then a moment of clarity.
Then, slowly—connection. Belonging. Purpose.
Letting go was not the end.
It was the beginning.
Want a soft place to land?
Letting go is easier when you are held.
🌿 Our February 2026 Re-Charge Retreat is the perfect space to release what is heavy and welcome what is next. You do not have to carry it all. Let us support you.
💻 Prefer something at your own pace? Our Online Divorce Coaching Course (launching later this year) will gently guide you through the emotional shifts of separation—including the art of letting go.
👉 Join the Retreat Waitlist HERE
👉 Get course updates HERE
Letting go does not mean you have failed.
It means you are wise enough to make room for something better.
With so much care,
Kerstin 🤍
Re-Charge Divorce Coaching and Retreats