Building new connections…
Finding new friendships after separation
There is a quiet ache that often follows separation.
Not just the loss of the relationship—but the way your friendships start to shift too.
The couple friends fade.
The invites slow down.
The group chats go quiet.
And in the middle of that silence, you might find yourself asking—who do I belong with now?
As a divorce coach, I hear this all the time. It is one of the most unexpected parts of the healing process—realising that your social world might need a complete replanting. But I also want to remind you of this:
🌿 You are not meant to do this alone.
Healing might feel like a solo path, but growth loves good company. You deserve friendships that meet you where you are now—not where you used to be.
So let us talk about how to find those people. How to gently build new connections and invite friendship back into your life, even if it feels awkward at first.
1. Let go of the guilt (and the group chats that no longer feel good)
After separation, some friendships will naturally drift. Others might disappear overnight.
This is not a failure—it is a reflection of changed dynamics. And while it can hurt deeply, it also creates space for connections that feel safer, more aligned, and less performative.
Try this:
Make a list with three columns:
“Draining” (connections that feel heavy or one-sided)
“Neutral”
“Uplifting” (the ones who leave you feeling seen or energised)
Now gently start investing your time and energy into the third group—and give yourself permission to create space from the first.
2. Heal your connection wound
When you have been through a breakup, especially if it involved betrayal or emotional neglect, your nervous system might flinch at the idea of opening up to someone new.
That is normal. It is not a sign you are broken. It is a sign your body is protecting you.
Here is what helps:
Be honest with yourself: “Am I avoiding new friendships because I do not trust others—or because I do not trust myself to choose well?”
Start small: comment on a post, reply to a story, ask someone to coffee after a class
Let friendship grow slowly—there is no pressure to go deep fast
Remind yourself: this is practice. Not every new person needs to become your person.
3. Explore aligned spaces
The best way to meet people who match your values, energy, or interests? Go where they already are.
Ideas that work for my clients (and maybe for you too):
A beachside meditation or breathwork circle
A pottery or painting class
A business or creative networking event
A holistic healing workshop or sound bath
Volunteering for a cause that matters to you
A walking group or yoga in the park
You are not just filling your calendar. You are showing up for your future self—the one who laughs with new friends on a weekend retreat or texts someone when they need to cry.
4. Be the kind of friend you are seeking
Sometimes the first step to attracting beautiful friendships is becoming one.
That means:
💛 Following up when someone opens up
💛 Asking curious questions (and listening without fixing)
💛 Celebrating others without shrinking yourself
💛 Making the first move—yes, even when it is awkward
The best friendships often start with someone being brave enough to say, “Hey, do you want to grab a chai after this?”
5. Soften the timeline
You do not need a new “inner circle” by next month.
You do not have to replace every old connection.
You just need one small moment of connection at a time.
And while we are here—can I remind you of something?
✨ There are people you have not met yet who are going to love you for exactly who you are now.
Not the version of you who had it all together.
Not the one who kept the peace or stayed too long.
You. Right now. Healing, messy, open-hearted you.
What to say when you are ready to reach out
Because I know the hardest part can be starting, here are a few scripts you can use to reconnect or initiate new friendships:
“I know we have only crossed paths briefly, but I have really enjoyed chatting—would you be up for a coffee sometime soon?”
“I’m looking to connect with more people who are on a similar path. Would love to hear more about what you are doing.”
“I’ve just come out the other side of a big life change and I’m slowly rebuilding. It would be lovely to grab a walk or a cuppa sometime.”
Friendship after separation does not need to look like it did before. In fact, it probably shouldn’t.
You are not just making friends. You are making space—for joy, for support, and for a version of you that feels more alive than ever.
Want a place to start?
If you are longing for connection and community that actually gets what you are going through… you do not have to keep waiting.
🌸 Our February 2026 Re-Charge Retreat is the perfect place to meet kind, like-minded women who are walking a similar path—gently, consciously, and with heart. You will walk in as strangers and walk out with a sisterhood.
🧘♀️ And if you are not ready to travel yet, our online divorce coaching course launching later this year is designed to help you reconnect with yourself and meet others on the same healing journey—from the comfort of home.
👉 Join the Retreat Waitlist here
👉 Get updates about the online course here
You are not too late, it is not too hard, you are simply in the middle of the story and the next chapter includes connection.
With warmth and belief in your next steps,
Kerstin 🤍
Re-Charge Divorce Coaching and Retreats