The scent of safety…
How simple winter smells can ground you and your children after separation
There’s something about winter that brings everything closer. The light is softer, the nights arrive sooner, and life seems to slow just enough for us to feel more.
And when you’re going through a separation, that more can be overwhelming. More stillness. More memories. More questions.
But in the quiet of winter, there’s also room to breathe—and surprisingly, scent can be one of the most powerful tools to help you and your children feel safer, calmer and more grounded.
The quiet magic of scent
Our sense of smell is deeply linked to memory and emotion. It’s why a whiff of cinnamon can suddenly transport you back to a happy kitchen from childhood, or why the smell of a particular cologne can stir up old feelings before you’ve even noticed them.
After separation, when the nervous system is often in overdrive and everything feels unfamiliar, scent becomes a simple but profound anchor—a way to come back to yourself and the present moment.
Scents that soothe in winter
Some scents naturally calm the body and settle the mind, especially in the colder months. Here are a few:
🍊 Orange peel – uplifting, fresh, gently energising. Wonderful for early mornings or tired afternoons.
🌿 Eucalyptus – clearing and grounding. Ideal for when you feel foggy or anxious.
🌲 Pine or cedarwood – earthy, safe, and reminiscent of cosy winter cabins.
🍥 Cinnamon and clove – warm, nurturing and perfect for winding down after a long day.
These smells can become quiet rituals for you and your children—a way to say, “We’re safe here. We’re together. We’re okay.”
A grounding exercise: The orange peel moment
If you or your children are feeling overwhelmed, try this simple practice:
Grab a fresh orange—one for each of you if you're doing this with your child.
Begin to peel it slowly, paying attention to the scent as it lifts into the air.
Breathe in deeply through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Do this three times.
Rub a little of the peel between your fingers to release more oil.
With each breath, say to yourself: I am here. I am safe. I am okay.
This tiny moment—just a minute or two—can reset your nervous system. And over time, the scent of orange may begin to feel like a cue for calm, connection and care.
Start small, stay gentle
You don’t need to overhaul your life to feel better. Sometimes, the softest changes are the most powerful.
So this winter, keep an orange in your fruit bowl, a bottle of essential oil in your handbag, or cinnamon simmering on the stove. Use scent to come back to yourself and to create new moments of safety and sweetness for your children too.
Because even in a season of change, you still deserve to feel grounded—and so do they.