Shared custody, cold hands...
Navigating winter handover days with grace
There’s something about winter handovers that can make everything feel heavier.
Maybe it’s the way the cold gets into your bones.
Maybe it’s the grey skies and the hurried goodbyes in chilly car parks.
Or maybe it’s that little lump in your throat as your child disappears into the backseat of another car—still clutching the teddy they didn’t want to forget.
Parenting after separation is full of transitions.
But in winter, those handover moments can feel particularly tender.
The silence afterwards. The chill that lingers. The emotional aftershocks that ripple through both you and your child.
It’s okay that it’s hard
Drop-offs and pick-ups might seem like logistical tasks on the outside—but they’re so much more than that.
They’re reminders of the life you once had. Moments of uncertainty, especially if the co-parenting relationship is strained.
And emotionally charged touchpoints that can leave you and your child feeling a little unsteady for the rest of the day.
You’re not overreacting. You’re human.
And these transitions deserve tenderness.
Practical ways to ease winter handovers
Here are a few small rituals and practical tools to bring more calm, predictability and emotional safety to handover days during the colder months:
1. Create a warm send-off ritual
Whether it’s a special goodbye handshake, a whispered “you’ve got this,” or slipping a note into their pocket, small gestures go a long way. They give your child an anchor—something to hold onto emotionally.
2. Pack for comfort, not just practicality
Winter coats and shoes are a must, but so is that soft scarf they love or the snack that makes them feel held. Bonus points for a little heat pack to warm their hands while waiting.
3. Time-buffer the transition
If you can, avoid rushing drop-offs. A five-minute pause in the car, a shared moment of music or breath, can soothe both nervous systems before the separation.
4. Honour the after-feelings
Once the handover is done, take a moment for yourself. Sit in the car and exhale. Play a comforting playlist on the way home. Make a cup of tea. Don’t just barrel forward—give your heart a second to catch up.
5. Reconnect gently when they return
Resist the urge to pepper them with questions. Instead, keep it cosy. “I’m so happy to see you,” and a warm hug go further than any interrogation. Let them settle in at their pace.
Bonus: Create a “handover day kit”
For your child:
🧣 Cosy blanket or comfort item
🥨 Favourite snack
💌 A note or drawing from you
🎧 A calm playlist or audio story for the car
For you:
☕ Warm drink waiting at home
🧘♀️ 10-minute movement or breathwork
📓 A journal prompt like: What am I proud of myself for today?
Grace lives in the small moments
You don’t have to get every handover perfectly right.
You just have to meet the moment with presence, softness, and a bit of planning.
Winter won’t last forever.
And neither will this chapter—at least not in its most tender form.
But while you’re in it, you deserve support. Your child does too. And with a few gentle rituals, you can bring a little warmth back into even the coldest handover days.
You’re doing beautifully.