One small thing a day…
rebuilding trust in yourself after divorce
After divorce, it is not just your life that feels different.
Often, it is your relationship with yourself.
You might notice more hesitation. More second-guessing. A quiet loss of confidence in decisions that once felt straightforward.
And when that happens, the pressure to “rebuild your life” can feel overwhelming.
Big goals. Big changes. Big plans.
But here is the truth I want you to hear today:
Rebuilding trust in yourself does not happen through big transformations.
It happens through small, steady steps.
One small thing at a time.
Why big reinventions can backfire
After divorce, your nervous system has already been through a lot. Asking yourself to overhaul everything at once can actually make self-trust harder to rebuild.
When the goal feels too big, every pause can feel like proof that you are failing. And that inner voice can get loud very quickly.
Trust does not grow through pressure.
It grows through proof.
And proof comes from doing what you say you will do, even in the smallest ways.
The power of one small thing a day
One small thing a day might sound insignificant, but it is quietly powerful.
It could be:
Completing one task and stopping there
Making one decision without asking for reassurance
Following through on one promise to yourself
Choosing rest when that is what you need
Each small action sends a message to your nervous system:
“I can rely on myself.”
And those messages add up.
This approach has shaped my own life more than any big leap ever has.
My personal story
When I moved countries, I had to retrain to practise law again. Starting over meant years of study, exams, uncertainty, and moments of real doubt.
If I had focused on the entire journey at once, it would have felt impossible.
So I did not.
I focused on one subject.
One assessment.
One requirement.
One next step.
Some days that step was practical. Other days it was simply choosing not to quit.
That is how I moved forward without becoming overwhelmed. And that is the same approach I see work so powerfully for people rebuilding their lives after divorce.
I share this journey more deeply in my chapter of Emotional Alchemy, which is being released on 28th January 2026 (Exciting!). I also recently explored this idea in conversation in a podcast with Sara Davison, talking about how I rebuild after moving countries.
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What rebuilding trust might look like for you
Rebuilding trust in yourself does not require certainty or confidence.
It requires consistency and compassion.
You might try:
Setting goals that feel almost too easy
Letting progress be measured in steadiness, not speed
Noticing where you are already showing up
Allowing “enough for today” to truly be enough
Over time, something shifts.
You stop asking, “Can I do this?”
And start knowing, “I can take the next step.”
A gentle reminder
You do not need to rush your healing.
You do not need a five-year plan.
You do not need to feel confident before you begin.
One small thing a day is how trust is rebuilt.
And often, it is how a life slowly starts to feel like your own again.
If this season feels tender, let that be okay.
You are rebuilding something important.